Letting it all out !!!

Hey again !
Felt like writing a bit more today so here I am !

As I said before, I totally ruined things with my "main girlfriend", the only girl I had so far that I could actually say she was "the one". But yeah I did it and life "unfortunately" goes on.

Until I met her, I was somehow a bit of a shy guy and I never actually thought I could have any chance with any other girl. During our last months of dating, I found out that is not entirely true. You don't need to be an elite model or have an amazingly large wallet filled with credit cards to actually "score" (I don't like this word but it's the only one I know) with girls. For the years to come after dating her, I discovered a LOT of other important things about relationships. Before dating her, all I knew was that she was gorgeous and that we were good friends so it was obvious we'd be an amazing couple... God I was so wrong... There are so many other things equally (or even more) important to keep a relationship standing and being entirely happy...

.... and no .... I'm not talking about sex... or at least not ONLY about sex...

Our problems started exactly when those things became important, when we started growing up and discovering our diferences. I/we realized that sharing your life with someone is not only about being in love with the person ! Or... wait... it is ! It is only and exclusively about being in love with the person, the problem is (or at least my problem is) that when you grow up you become more and more demanding about the things you like and want.... I did....
I started to notice all her flaws, all her problems, all the things I couldn't do while I was with her cause she wouldn't let me... And all those things totally change your perspective of "being in love".

That leads to the path I'm walking at the moment. Which is finding someone who can actually make you feel like that first big love when nothing would stand between you and her/him and nothing else mattered except the fact that you were great together !!!

I've met and dated quite a few girls (stories to tell) ever since... I've tried damn hard to fall in love, to find soemthing interesting, something in common with every single one of them... but the truth is, it all eventually ends up with me finding out we had nothing in common and it wouldnt work.

I'm a demanding person. True, I am !!!! I don't wanna date someone that doesn't like the same things I do, or doesnt like to talk about stuff I do... I don't wanna date someone who doesnt like my friends or who can't stand me going out with them ! Yeah she can come along too, obviously, I mean thats even better... But a girlfriend/boyfriend who wants you only for themselves? No ty.... And empty headed girls/guys who can only talk about "nothing important" ?? How the hell are we supposed to spend years or even a whole life with someone like that ?!?! Yeah, I admit it, I AM demanding when it comes to the person I'm gonna share my whole life with !!! Shouldnt we all be?

For a long time I thought the problem was to "get envolved" with someone. That it wouldnt really mind if she was "the one" or not cause that's something you can adapt to... As long as she had a few good things, the rest could be worked out between the two... But as time passed by, I found out that's not true ! I mean, whats the point in going for the second or third best, when you can fight for the first place? And we're not talking about some random competition, we're talking about one of the most important things in life arent we? If we don't fight for the first place when it comes to love, when are we gonna do it?

Well I just felt like writing a bit so that's it for now... It actually feels good to write all this down...
Probably I won't make sense and if someone reads it, they probably won't "relate" to any of this... Yet, it feels good to let it out.

If someone's out there....
Cyas later !

Where it all started

Hey there !
Probably nobody is reading this blog yet since I'm not publicizing it and I'll never do it...
I want my readers to read it cause they actually enjoy it or feel some kind of connection with it.
I'm not telling any of my RL (real life) friends that I own this blog so I probably won't get readers so soon.... No problem !

The first posts won't be about recent things. I'll start by telling some old stories that happened to me so you can all understand a bit of my past.

This one is probably the most important one.... My first "real" relationship....
It all started when I was still doing High School, 2 or 3 years before I got into college...
This new girl showed up that year and she was in my class...
You know that feeling you get when you see someone for the first time and you think "Nah... She'd never look at me..." ...well it was just like that...

She was by far the cuttest/hottest girl in our class and I was just another "punk teenager" who just thought about skateboarding all the time and listening to punk-rock music.
Well the truth is I got lucky.... we became best friends and after one year of being best friends and everyone knowing I had a huge crush on her (including her) we started dating for real.

We dated for 4 years... We were a great couple, or at least we were for the first 3 years...
At that age, nobody was interested in having a real relationship. Most of our friends would date someone for a couple of weeks and then move on... We stuck together trough finishing high school and starting college...
Everyone said we would break up on the first year of college, but we didn't, we passed trough that...
It was a great relationship and we really really loved each other.
What happened after I can't explain... Maybe we changed as individuals when we got into college and we didn't notice.... Maybe we started getting tired of each other... All I know is that we started fighting daily and the relationship became a problem instead of being that one thing that you can always count on to get support.
We couldn't even go out at night together, we would always get some reason to fight... It started getting anoying for both of us...

Then I ruined everything and probably did the worst thing I could've ever done...
I'm not gonna write down the list of things I regret doing those last months of our relationship.
All I can say is this: I'd change everything now if I could... I'd go back and re-write all my actions...
I did a lot of things I'm not proud of (no I never hit her or did anything violent, that's something I'm proud of not being able to understand why it happens) and I managed to do them all without her knowing it... I managed to live a separate life when I wasn't near her...

Well.... My advice... Don't go that way.... Even if you become a good liar, even if you manage to become so cold hearted that you barely "feel" the weight on your shoulders... Unless you're some kind of weird person that really don't give a crap about anyone or anything, it will catch you. Sooner or later you'll start feeling it... You'll start realizing that you can't live your whole life with someone after doing certain things... It's not the way it's "supposed to be".

So after a whole year of fighting, I broke up with her for real... It wasn't the first time, we did it for like a week and we'd eventually forgive each other and come back but this time was for real. I couldn't keep "feeding" something that had already been killed...

I never forgot her.... I still fight with the feeling of wanting her back today but I know I can't keep living with that weight on my shoulders.. The weight of being with someone that doesnt truely know who you are and what you did/do. And being honest becomes out of question or you'd loose that someone for ever even as a friend.

So this is the begining. This was my first big mistake into getting in the situation I am today.
I do regret it... but maybe I needed it. Maybe it was the first step (although a really bad and wrong step) into helping me find myself, find my future... find the girl that will actually stay with me for the rest of my life.

I know all this sounds "lame", but its a part of my life and I think everyone's got moments like this in their closet...

This will probably be the most "boring" story you'll read here I think the probably the most important one already... I'm still trying to figure out how I jumped from being the shy teenager that was scared of that special girl from my class into somehow managing to "score" with 40 yrs old hot moms who are married !

That's another story though ;)
Hope you enjoyed, keep reading !

The beggining of my book...

The idea of opening this blog came from a conversation with a friend where she told me something like:

"If your life was a book, it would be a best seller !"

Well I'm not here to write a best seller, not even to get famous... As a matter of fact, the whole point of the blog is to actually share some aspects of my life keeping my identity unknown at the same time.

Why???
Well... have you ever felt the need of having a conversation, let it all out, but you know that certain things can't be told to the usual "person you go out with". Some things can only be told to those true friends you trust. The thing is, most of the times, you already know what your true friends will tell you... You know them better than anyone right?

Well this is my way of letting it all out, getting opinions and comments without worrying about privacy !
You can all me Ydobemos Uoy Wonk, or just Uoy ! :P (yeah it's Somebody You Know written backwards).

In time, you'll find out some details about my life, not important enough to reveal who I am, but important to understand the stories I'm about to write.
If you read the name of this blog, you'll find similarities with a famous Tv Show. Well I'm a big fan of that show and the truth is I often find myself doing the role of Ted (or Barney, you'll tell me that later) and I thought it would be an appropriate name for this blog, since the main story is basically about me trying to find "that girl", just like Ted does.... The thing is... My story is not finished, I haven't found her yet....

Well gotta go for now.
If someone actually found this blog by accident on its first post... Welcome !!! =)